Thursday, December 31, 2015

Celebrate. Joy. Hope.

There's something magical about New Year's Eve. I mean once you get past the stress of making plans, having no plans and ending up in your pjs on the couch eating a box of chocolates, watching Taylor Swift perform a song you're pretty sure is brand new but in reality is probably two years old...

Just me?

Okay.

Anyway, New Years Eve... And yes, while I'm aware that Rosh HaShanah marks the beginning of the new year, there is something powerful and moving about December 31st. The world seems full of hope, full of promise, full of ambition for the coming year. And whether that carries well into the year or ends at 12:01, it doesn't matter.

2015 was hard for our family. Like really hard. There were challenges and obstacles around almost every corner. From pregnancy complications to the NICU, medical emergencies, surgery and working diagnoses for both of our boys, it was real and harsh and raw. We did our best to keep things as positive and normal, as we could, for the boys. We had a first birthday party, went to the zoo and play places. We had pj days and Paw Patrol days, running in the park, cuddles, laughs and smiles. And it got us through. 

But today. Today is December 31st. And tomorrow this year will be gone. It'll be another chapter in our lives. A chapter that broke us down a little so that we could become even stronger.

There are three words I want to focus on this year. 

Celebrate.

Hope.

Joy.

I want to celebrate. I want to celebrate everything. Every inch of progress our boys make. Every smile. Every milestone, big or small. I want to celebrate Monday and Wednesday and birthdays and good weather. I want a calendar filled with more than medical appointments and with more family fun days. I want to celebrate it all. I want to find the good and make happy memories and live.

I want our lives to be filled with hope. Hope for progress and therapies and that every day will be a good day, that everything will be okay. Will there be sleep regressions and teething, silly arguments over nothing and toddler tantrums? Yes, yes there will be. But there will be hope too. And if those are the worst things we'll have to face, then I welcome them with open arms.

Joy. I want there to be so much joy. The kind of joy that is all encompassing and overwhelming. The kind of joy that takes your breath away and leaves you awash in gratitude and wonder. The kind of joy when Y learns something new or N beats the odds. The kind of joy that melts mommy guilt and bickering and tantrums. Joy and laughter and smiles. Everyday. To find a reason for joy every. single. day.

Do we always get what we want? No, no we don't. But we can hope. We can be joyful through it all. And when we do get what we want? When we get what we so desperately need? We celebrate.

Happy 2016!




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